Today life in our society is relatively less physically threatening and demanding, however, it is far more psychologically threatening. Threats to our self-esteem, our sense of security, our role in society and our relationships with family, friends, work colleagues and fellow humans are the ‘fangs’ of the sabre-tooth tiger. Confronted by these threats we respond just as though the tiger were there; we activate our stress response. Frequently, however, there is neither the need nor the opportunity for physical action. Instead what happens for most people is that we become impatient, irritated and angry. We fume. We become anxious and depressed. Over time this can affect our well-being.
It is because of these experiences that most people think of stress as “bad” or distressing. In fact stress can also be experienced as pleasant, exciting, stimulating and thrilling. A “good” feeling or eustress. This is the sort of feeling you get when pleasant and exciting events occur, such as the thrill of riding on a roller-coaster or the satisfaction of performing well in an interview. So the experience of stress can be good (eustress) or bad (distress).
There are two important points here. Firstly, it may seem strange to think of stress as a pleasant experience, however, the idea of “good” and “bad” stress illustrates that it is the way in which we interpret a situation that determines what kind of stress response we experience. It is not the situation that causes our stress.
The stress experience is unique for each person because each one of us is unique. No two individuals will experience stress in exactly the same way at any one time. It’s rather like fingerprints. Everyone has them but no two prints are the same. What is distressing for one person may not be for another and may even be eustressing. Also, what may be distressing for one person one day might not seem so bad the next day. It is how we view and feel about a demand or situation that determines our stress response.